We seem to have great, splendid ideas that in occasions seem to crystalize in any creative form, a photograph, a text, whatever. The funny thing after is that this great idea is reduced to violent indifference, or to something else. It is probably smart to assimilate that your very exact, deep, rooted specific thought that you once were carrying will be only that, yours, and will never be as exact, as deep and as rooted for the other.

There is this thing when watching porn. You look for a specific category that is very related to a certain smell. We can think of sweaty armpits, for example. You start jerking off but the scent that is making you hard is absent. Still, your mind seems to anticipate that smell. Smells are the most powerful of all senses for me. We, unfortunately, do not seem to find any proper adjective that would make them justice. We say that a smell can be strong. We just calibrate them in terms of intensities. They are much more, in my opinion.

I got a call from the STD clinic. I thought something was wrong, but it was just chlamydia and gonorrhoea at once. My body got loose all of a sudden. Thanks god, I thought. Barebacking have been always one of my favourite sexual preferences. It is a random pleasure. Some friends seem confused when I talk about it. I love to feel my bare dick sliding in, feeling the warm humidity, until it erupts still inside. It is the most symbiotic experience I know of, even if it lasts a couple of seconds.

After a lot of online texting I had him in front of me. Instead of talking, I directed my mouth towards his. There is this turning moment, a decisive moment that will determine the rest of the encounter. It is determined by how acute your senses of taste and smell combined are. We tend to forget how much halitosis there is roaming around.

The t-shirt feels tighter than normal but I haven’t gain weight. I keep walking with my hand pinching the oppressive piece of cotton. If I let it go, the air stops coming in. It seems like drowning without water. My hands gets used to that strange gesture. My chest is cosy, covered by this small ephemeral tent.

There is this error that is called catachresis. It is normally understood as a failed metaphor or as a morally wrong form of abuse. It is nurtured out of incompleteness. I want to feel or think or say or touch things in a way that I have no point of reference to relate from. My skin starts activating. This leads me to spaces, to situations I was not aiming to reach. We can think of the intimate moment, the sexual moment, the apprehensive moment and the average deceiving one. I start dragging my body around, as I normally do, but it is different this time.

I start walking. It is quite late at night so there is nobody around. The streets are wet from the rain, making the street lights reflect and creating this moody atmosphere that seems already so familiar and so aligning to my current state. I light another cigarette and walk aimlessly. The streets attune indifferently with myself the same way my body did earlier with the other body.

When I was a kid I had a velvet sofa. Can you imagine rubbing some velvet again your gums? I keep thinking about it. The idea has always been very disturbing to me. I have the same with licking my own finger. I cannot do it, even if it’s covered with chocolate or whatever. It makes me imagine myself biting a chunk out of it and all the consequences this would bring.

I went to the supermarket today. On my way there, I saw a brick wall. The brick wall was in the shadow. After this, a cat was lying in the sun. Next to it, a red poppy that happily grew in the sidewalk had half of its petals lying in the floor.

After having sex over and over, something led us to talk about possums. He told me that when he was a kid, he was given a gun as a gift. I asked him: - what would you use the gun for? He said that he grew up in a farm in New Zealand, so that he used to kill possums. He told me that possums are considered the national pest in there. He also referred to the pouch where those marsupials carry along their babies.